The past year has been eventful.

I was diagnosed with EOAD, I’ve moved cities, quit my jobs, fought with CPP, got a new apartment, endured remarkable pain, sadness, and loss; faced many new lifestyle challenges and changes, became bored, found happiness and tried to come to terms with my new mortality. Girl interrupted, that’s me.

It’s been crazy, to say the least.

I don’t often think about the time I may have left, not anymore (although, it comes to the front of my mind in quiet times) I keep in mind my many wonderful moments shared with my family and as well, on my own.

Although I’ve been fighting with this for years, I no longer have the added aggravation of a scheduled work day, deadlines and responsibilities.  I have the time to actually look after myself, to actually care for myself. And that’s big. I am grateful.

The learning curve changed, but no biggie. Schmoozing ma’ way into learning it.

Living alone, as I have for so long, you forget the common comforts of having a constant partner.  You gain an independence from even that and it becomes the norm.

I often think, “would this be easier if I was married or had a significant other?”, I honestly think it would be harder for me;  I think it would be harder for me, absolutely.

I suppose at this time of year I should reflect on the year past; the only reflection I’ll do is what I’ve written above.

I stopped making ” new year resolutions” when I was in my 20’s, false promises to myself were self damaging.

I took on a realistic approach to life years ago, although probably stretched the reality of my world through some of my choices…..but eventually made it back me.

Remaining kind and thoughtful, especially where my immediate family was concerned, honing my passions for art, in both photography and food, as well, business and personal success. I did pretty good. I struggled to reach those goals on occasion, but I reached them and accomplished my own signature style.

It’s been 5 years now, since I first noticed changes in me. 5 fucking years. That is a long time for anything to come to a place of answers.  But it came.

So……

My life is this life, same as your life is yours.

My life is what I choose to look forward to, not what is stopping me.

My life is still adventures, good food and good friends.

My life is about family, love and big hugs.

My life is just as it was.

The struggles I will face will probably knock me down, but I’ll get back up for as long as I can.

So 2020, it’s just January 1st, same as every year at this time. It’s just a month of writing the wrong date on stuff. Hahahhaha,!

I’ll make mistakes, I’ll do things perfectly. I’ll have choices, I’ll have to rework some stuff, I will glide fluid.  That’s life.  That is also family.

I wish all of you an easy  transition from December 31st to January 1st, it’s another day in the life.

Don’t put so much emphasis on the hype.  Live your best life. That is more important.

That millisecond that changes from 11:59:59 to 12:00:00 is not it.  It is you that will make the difference in your own life, not the call letters of the year.

Start a project you never finish, leave a legacy.  It’s important.  Start building a puzzle and leave it for months on end, it’s perfectly fine.  Live the best life you can, that is what makes it valuable and will fill your heart.

I’ll tell you stories of funny new habits that develop as I change in this process, adventures I have and perhaps people I meet.  That is my plan moving forward.  I’ll fill you in on changes and even struggles I face. I hope you stay connected with me.

My eldest grandkiddies stayed over last night,  we rearranged my apartment so that we could all be in one place together the entire time……I’m leaving it that way.  I love them.

Cheers to the end of a lovely holiday season and to the new decade ahead.  Be kind to yourself and love one another.

Stay well my friends xo Jan

In the spirit of the beginning of the new year, here you go!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/Kfbiu44m42UWswxC9